The Potential Health Benefits of Gratitude

Thanksgiving isn’t the only day to offer thanks for all that we have—research indicates that regularly expressing our gratitude may have a positive impact on our health.  

Dr. Robert Emmons, the “world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude” and a professor of psychology at the University of California, is the author of Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier.  Dr. Emmons notes that “Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, and regular physical examinations. Gratitude research is beginning to suggest that feelings of thankfulness have tremendous positive value in helping people cope with daily problems, especially stress.”  

To cultivate an “attitude of gratitude” that can boost your sense of well-being and your physical health, try incorporating these activities into your routine:

Create a gratitude journal.  Every day, write down five things that happened that day for which you feel grateful. Maybe it’s your boss congratulating you on a job well done, seeing a beautiful sunrise as you woke up, eating a favorite meal for dinner, or your child telling you she loves you. Make this journal writing a daily habit.

Try a gratitude visit. This exercise, recommended by Dr. Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania, suggests writing a 300-word letter to someone who changed your life for the better. Be specific about what the person did and how it affected you. Deliver it in person or, if that’s not feasible, send it to them. This approach allows you to not just be in touch with your gratitude, but also to share it with a mentor.

Pay it forward. Every day, choose at least one person in your life—whether it’s your spouse, a co-worker, or friend—and tell them something you appreciate about them. (Remember to be sincere, though—give a compliment because you mean it, not because you need to reach a daily quota.)  You will not only increase that person’s happiness and sense of self-worth, but you’ll also feel good about yourself for making someone you care about happy.

Remember, if you are a Health Advocate member, our Personal Health Advocates are happy to help you resolve your healthcare and insurance-related issues and questions, such as locating in-network providers, securing second opinions, transferring medical records, resolving billing and claims issues, and more. We’re always at your side—and always grateful for the opportunity to help you.

Tips for Handling Caregiver Guilt

Unfortunately, guilt is a common feeling among caregivers. Regardless of how effective a caregiver actually is at providing for a loved one, sometimes they get caught up in the idea of being perfect—which is, of course, impossible.  When a caregiver can’t meet their own super-high standards, they feel guilty and become a victim of their own best intentions. If you are a caregiver, keep these tips in mind to help ward off caregiver guilt:

Have realistic, obtainable expectations. Nobody’s perfect - you can’t anticipate every single issue that may occur. No matter how much you love the person or feel that you “owe” him or her, you actually owe it to yourself to lower your high expectations.  This can also lower the guilt you feel, an emotion that feeds off of high standards.

Be aware of the shouldas, couldas, and oughts. For many caregivers, their inner dialogue sounds like this:

“I shouldn’t feel happy about taking a few days of vacation when Mom isn’t able to go.”

“I could have been more patient with my husband when he kept asking me for things he needed.”

“I ought to cancel my lunch date—Dad might need me to run an errand for him.”

You have needs and feelings, too - feeling guilty just wastes precious energy.  Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can as a caregiver and that neglecting the things that you need doesn’t benefit you or the person for whom you’re caring.

Make time for yourself.  As unexpected as this may sound, selfless people often feel a lot of guilt. But as they work hard to take care of another person’s needs, they often ignore their own needs. For the sake of your well-being, it’s important to find enjoyable activities that allow you a break in caregiving duties. Consider having a meal with a friend, book a relaxing massage, or take an hour to curl up in your favorite chair and read a good book.  While you may initially feel selfish, realize that taking a little “you” time can help you recharge, which may make you a better, more focused caregiver.

No caregiver is an island unto themselves. The saying that “it takes a village” could apply to caregiving responsibilities. Asking other people for assistance is not a sign of weakness, and there’s no need to feel guilty about it. Asking for and receiving some extra help can lighten the load and reduce the stress that constant caregiving can create. If you’re concerned about being burdensome, remember that people don’t have to spend a lot of time or money to help.  Consider asking for assistance doing laundry or other household chores, preparing a home-cooked meal, or providing transportation to and from an appointment or errand.

Use the resources available to you.  If you are a Health Advocate member, we can be a valuable resource for you.  Our Personal Health Advocates can help arrange care for your loved one, connect you to medical providers--primary care physicians, mental health specialists and counselors, nutritionists, and others.  Personal Health Advocates can take some of the responsibility off of caregivers by making doctor appointments; helping to line up transportation; researching care options, such as adult day care, or in-home nursing services; filling out paperwork; sorting out insurance issues, and more.

Additionally, if you have access to an EAP program (such as Health Advocate’s EAP+Work/Life service), consider addressing caregiver guilt and/or stress with a Licensed Professional Counselor.  And if you are holding down a job while managing caregiving responsibilities, talking to a Work/Life Specialist may help you achieve improved work/life balance.

Being a devoted caregiver is admirable, but be sure you don’t neglect yourself and your own needs in the process. Be sure to take steps to eliminate caregiver guilt and reach out for assistance when necessary.

Give Mom the Gift of Health this Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is around the corner, and many people are scrambling to find the just the right gift for mom. If you’re still gift-hunting, why not give your mom a gift that helps her improve her health? Consider these healthy gift ideas that can help your mother de-stress and stay well. 

Spruce up the garden. Make Mom a gift basket that includes some gardening tools, a few packets of seeds, gloves and a broad-brimmed hat.  Not only can you give your mother some healthy goodies to plant—such as veggies or fruits she can pick and eat after they’ve grown—but there are many potential health benefits that can come from gardening, including fighting stress and improving cognitive thinking. A recent study suggests that gardening can help fight stress even better than other leisure activities.

Work out the knots. Give your mom a gift certificate for a massage.  According to the Mayo Clinic, massage can be an effective treatment for reducing stress, pain and muscle tension. The Mayo Clinic suggests that some studies have found massage may also be helpful for other conditions, such as anxiety, fibromyalgia, sports injuries, and more.

Find serenity.  Buy your mother a gift certificate for some yoga classes. Yoga is a form of physical activity that combines stretching exercises, controlled breathing and relaxation. According to the Mayo Clinic, yoga can help reduce stress, lower blood pressure and improve heart function. Practicing yoga may also lead to improved balance, flexibility, range of motion and strength.   Bonus: If you’re also into yoga, buy yourself a package of yoga classes and enjoy this relaxing activity together.

Prepare a healthy feast. Invite your mom to a homemade brunch on Mother’s Day. When planning your menu, consider making healthy foods such as fruit or vegetable salads, a savory quiche packed with spring vegetables, soups made with low-sodium vegetable broth or chicken stock as their base, or herbed, grilled chicken breasts. If the weather is pleasant, take Mom for a walk around the neighborhood or to a favorite local park after brunch. 

Get her a helpful gadget. If your mom is interested in getting fit, get her a pedometer so that she can track the amount of steps she takes each day. Using a pedometer may even encourage her to get more physical activity. Researchers at Stanford University recently conducted a study that found that people who wear pedometers often take more than 2,000 extra steps a day – that’s well over a mile.

Give the gift of healthcare help. If you are a Health Advocate member, remind your mother or mother-in-law that she can take advantage of their health advocacy service. Health Advocate covers eligible employees, their dependent children as well as parents and parents-in-law.  Here are just some of the ways a Personal Health Advocate can help:

·         Find the right doctors, hospitals and other providers

·         Explain conditions; research latest treatments

·         Help schedule appointments and tests

·         Resolve billing and insurance claims issues

·         Secure second opinions

·         Clarify benefits coverage

·         Estimate costs of common procedures

·         Help you make informed decisions

·         And more!

Not a Health Advocate member?  Consider giving your mother a Health Proponent membership.  It’s the perfect gift for Mother’s Day or any other occasion!