You’re Not Alone: Tips on Caring for an Elderly Loved One

Caring for an elderly loved one often requires an abundance of time and energy. Being a caregiver can include tasks such as administering medications, transporting someone to doctor appointments, and trying to make sense of medical coverage and bills. For the caregiver, trying to meet these needs could lead to taking extra days off of work or even quitting a job.

If you are a caregiver for an elderly loved one, Health Advocate provides the following tips that can help you avoid handling caregiving duties alone.

If you are a Health Advocate member…

• We can help. Our Personal Health Advocates can help you with caregiving needs, including:
• Locating alternative care facilities
• Obtaining coverage for medical supplies
• Providing information on local adult day care programs
• Coordinating coverage for home care services with insurance provider or Medicare
• Locating private duty nursing and home health aides
• Finding physicians who make house calls

Health Advocate members and non-members alike can benefit from these tips:

• Get the family together. If possible, hold a family meeting to discuss the needs of your aging loved one. A social worker or other facilitator can help with difficult issues, such as placement in an assisted living center or a skilled nursing facility.
• Discuss advance directives. Living wills detail medical care preferences. A power of attorney for healthcare document allows your loved one to designate another person to make financial or medical decisions, should they themselves become unable to do so.
• Investigate eldercare products. Work with a case manager and/or insurance company to locate emergency call buttons, stair chair lifts, electric scooters and other helpful items.
• Expect "live-in" adjustments. Be prepared for readjustments in mealtimes and sleep schedules, and to experience a "role reversal" in your relationship, placing you in a parenting type of role.
• Find support for yourself. Local organizations may offer adult day care, emergency respite and support groups. Health Advocate’s "Helping You Help a Loved One" brochure lists some resources you can turn to for support.

As you are caring for your loved one, don’t underestimate the ability of others to help alleviate some of the day-to-day challenges associated with caregiving. Remember, if you have Health Advocate as a service, we can help address your eldercare questions and needs—give us a call today!

November is National Family Caregivers Month

It's National Family Caregivers Month, which The National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) says is a time to thank, support, empower and educate family caregivers.  The NFCA hopes that during the month of November, they can increase support of family caregivers, raise awareness of the issues close to the hearts of family caregivers, celebrate the efforts made by family caregivers, and provide them with helpful resources.

NFCA estimates that there are more than 65 million family caregivers in the United States.  Every day, they fulfill a vital role on the care team of a loved one--they're extremely familiar with the loved one's medication regimen, dietary needs, exercise regimen, and more.

Below, check out some resources available to caregivers.  These resources can not only help them care for their loved ones better, but also help caregivers care for themselves, too.

•    The NFCA's Caregiving Resources page.  Check out their comprehensive list of resources, including tips and tools, agencies and organizations that can help, and useful publications.
•    Motivational and helpful messages to live by, compiled by NFCA.  This page offers advice on speaking up for your rights, asking for help, and more.
•    "Simple comforts for loved ones in the hospital."  If you are caring for a loved one in the hospital, this article offers some easy, creative ideas to keep the patient comfortable.
•    "Top 10 tips for choosing an assisted living facility."  This article gives helpful pointers on how to approach finding the best assisted living home for your loved one.
•    "Tips on preventing the abuse of elderly people."  If the loved one you are caring for is elderly, you may want to make sure that nobody is taking advantage of them.  This article will help you know what to watch for and when to step in if you believe someone is taking advantage of an elderly loved one.
•    "Self-care for the caregiver."  Sometimes caregivers can be so focused on caring for their loved one that they forget to take time to care for themselves.  This article focuses on ways that caregivers can ensure they are as healthy, balanced, and happy as possible during caregiving.
•    Health Advocate’s Caregiving resources, including publications, checklists, and more.

If you have access to an advocacy service, such as Health Advocate, through your employer, they can also be a valuable resource for help with caregiving (people who don't have access to an employer-based advocacy program can reach out to a consumer advocacy program like Health Proponent).  An advocacy service can help connect you to medical providers--primary care physicians, mental health specialists and counselors, nutritionists, and others.  Advocates can take some of the responsibility off of caregivers by making doctor appointments, arranging transportation, researching care options, filling out paperwork, sorting out insurance issues, and more.  Additionally, if your employer offers an EAP program, it may be another source of resources and information on how you can keep your life balanced while caring for a loved one.

Self-care for the caregiver

It seems ironic, but all too often true: a caregiver can be so focused on their patient that they don't always remember to properly care for themselves.  While caring for someone ill or injured is certainly important, it's equally important for caregivers to remember to take care of themselves, too.  Read on to remind yourself about vital areas of self-care.

Make time for yourself. While you may fear that taking time for yourself would be selfish, realize that taking a little time for yourself can help you be a good caregiver.

• Find enjoyable activities that will allow you a little break.  Even just a few minutes could be helpful.  Watch a sitcom, call a friend, devote a little time to your favorite hobby, or do anything else that you enjoy doing and that helps you relax.
• Be active.  Even light exercise like walking, stretching, or dancing can make you less tired.  Yard work or gardening or playing with pets or children can also be a fun way to be active and lift your spirits.  A brisk walk is not only good exercise, but it could also be a way to clear your mind.
• Connect with friends.  Make a lunch date or dinner date with a friend.  Or make new friends by going online and finding other caregivers to connect with.  Forums and websites can allow you to make new caregiver friends from around the world; sites like Meetup.com can help you find other caregivers local to you.
• Take time off.  Know your mental and physical limits when it comes to the amount of caregiving that you can do.  If friends offer to help you out by bringing over a meal so you don't have to cook, or stepping into your caregiving shoes for a few hours so you can take a break, take them up on it.  If they haven't offered, don't be afraid or shy when it comes to asking for help.

Care for your own health, too.  You may feel too busy to think about your own health, but if you don't take care of your own health, you won't be able to take care of anyone else.  Taking care of your health not only benefits you, but also the person for whom you're caring.

• Go to all your checkups.  It's vital that you don't neglect appointments with your medical providers.
• Take your medications.  If you're afraid that you'll forget to take your meds during busy and taxing days of caregiving, set alarms on your cell phone that can alert you to take your medications.
• Eat healthy meals.  It's easy to fall back on unhealthy food when you're on the run doing errands for the person you're taking care of.  Don't give in to the lure of the drive-thru.  If you don't have time to make yourself--or even sit down to enjoy--a healthy meal for lunch or dinner while caregiving, keep an arsenal of healthy snacks with you to munch on throughout the day.  Fresh fruit, carrot sticks, celery sticks with peanut butter, low-fat yogurt or string cheese, microwaveable servings of oatmeal, or whole-grain crackers are healthy and easily portable choices.
• Get enough rest.  Caregiving can be stressful.  Allow your body to recharge with a good night's sleep.
• Make time to relax.  Don't underestimate the power of "you" time.

It's admirable that you are a devoted caregiver--but be sure to not neglect yourself and your own needs in the process.  Extra stress can cause changes in your health, so make sure to tell your doctor if you notice any new changes in your body.  Consider talking to a patient advocacy service to help make things easier for you while you are handling caregiving duties.  A service like Health Advocate or Health Proponent can help connect you to medical providers--primary care physicians, mental health specialists and counselors, nutritionists, and others.  Advocates can take some of the responsibility off of caregivers by making doctor appointments, arranging transportation, researching care options, filling out paperwork, sorting out insurance issues, and more.

Simple comforts for loved ones in the hospital

When a loved one is in the hospital recovering from a medical procedure, it can be a stressful and scary time for not just the patient, but also that patient's caregiver.  Whether you are the family member of the patient or a friend or loved one of someone who's at the hospital caring for and visiting the patient, there are many things you can do to provide comfort during this difficult time.

Comfort for the patient:

• Bring reading material.  Since patients may be too distracted to fully focus on a book's storyline, bring along some magazines for lighter, quicker reading.


• Laughter is the best medicine.  If you have a portable DVD player or laptop computer, or if there's a DVD player in the patient's room, bring a favorite comedy or film to watch together.


• "Go fish"...or be at "war."  Bringing a deck of cards for playing card games is an inexpensive, easy way to entertain patients of all ages.  Board games or crossword puzzles can be fun entertainment, too.


• Uninterrupted zzzzz's.  Speak to the doctor or hospital staff to see if it's possible for them to avoid taking vitals in the middle of the night so that the patient can get a full night's sleep.


• Familiarity is comforting.  Ask hospital staff if you can bring the patient's favorite pillow or sleep attire for them to use.


• Bring a personal touch.  Would it comfort the patient to have a photograph of their beloved children, spouse, or pet by their bedside?  What about a favorite stuffed animal or other small memento?  If so, bring one to their room.


• Call ahead.  Some patients would feel self-conscious if they weren't able to take a few minutes for grooming before you arrive.  Don't surprise them with a visit--call ahead so that if they wish to make themselves look a bit more presentable for company, they have a little time to do so.


• The power of touch.  As long as these are not areas affected by the patient's recent procedures, offer a hand, foot, shoulder or scalp massage to relieve a little tension.


• Take notes.  The patient may be too sleepy or worried to fully pay attention to medical advice and instructions given by doctors and hospital staff.  Bring along a notebook and pen so that you can record this information for the patient.  Also take notes on what types of treatment the patient has undergone and what medications they've received; this will be helpful when the patient examines their bill later to make sure they're being billed only for what they received during their hospital stay.


• Help outside the hospital.  Do the patient's plants need to be watered, their newspaper brought in,their trash taken out, et cetera?  Offering to help with these small tasks can ease pressure on the patient once they're out of the hospital.


• Make them look good and feel good.  Bring the patient's favorite shampoo/conditioner, body wash, hand lotion, bath robe, lip balms, and other personal care items that they enjoy using.

Comfort for the caregiver:

• Give 'em a break.  Caregiving can be stressful.  Offer to come hang out with the patient for a little while, giving the caregiver time to go home for a while, take a nap, etc.


• Bring something yummy.  Chances are, if the caregiver has been cooped up in the hospital with the patient, they've been eating nothing but hospital food.  Bring takeout from the caregiver's favorite restaurant, or bring a healthy homemade soup, as a gesture of thanks.


• Run errands.  If you aren't able to be in the hospital with or in place of the caregiver, are there any errands they have that you could take care of--bringing in the mail, dropping off the dry cleaning, walking the dog, etc? 

Although the gestures listed above are small and simple, there's no doubt that they will be much appreciated by recovering patients and weary caregivers.